Oh Rain

Today was one of those days where I just want to hide under my blanket until the day is over. Oh how nothing would be accomplished if I did because life just doesn't play that way!

Someone once said that life is messy.Taking control of our situations is easier than trusting God to handle our problems. We then fall flat on our faces when were wrong and our plans is disrupted. I admit, I like to fix things myself and take pride in the end results. But when things start falling out of place, I feel like giving up under all that pressure and stress I'm holding! I am such a coward... I'd really like to trust God more! I want him to be my strength when I am weak, help me be patient, wait on him, and to love the ones that I can't stand.

These thoughts came to my head when I was sitting in class. Imagine half the class just whisper to each other or talk unknowingly loud saying negative comments about your work. Work that you spent hours trying to build up, day and/or night just trying to fix and get done because they didn't? Well that's what I had to go through today. I wanted to burst out in anger! I could of easily just lost control and slip out a few snaps here and there, but instead I decided to hold it in. As painful as it was, I'm glad it's almost over. Pressure and stress was piling on me to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore and just cried out to God. I prayed and thanked God that he helped me control my tongue but at the same time I thought that what if he feels the same way I felt when we offend God? How hurt he must feel when we say cruel and ugly things that he could hear without us realizing. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S ABOUT HIS WORK, HIS CREATION!

Wow... And yet.. He still loves us and forgives us when we ask for forgiveness. I am not worthy!

This also teaches me that maybe I should have a better heart and perspective on tomorrow that even though those people hurt me, I should be quick to forgive and love than to be quick to get angry and lash out my stress on them. If God does that for us, we should do the same to others. Especially how he reminds us in scripture to love one another, especially our enemies. Hmmm..