It just takes YOU

I'll even admit it myself that there are times when I just don't want to hear it. I know better of the right things I should do, but I end up not doing it. In the bible it also states that it is a sin to know what you ought to do and don't do it. And lately I been feeling like God had plans for me to do that he put in my heart but I chose what I wanted for myself instead.

As much as I was growing closer to God, I still fell in my walk with Him. Everyone falls sometimes and makes mistakes. &Let me tell you that it's never easy for me to get back on track with him, especially when I felt alone in this.

I sat here a few minutes ago crying out to God about why I was hurting and realized it was because I stopped seeking him. I slipped back into trying to fill my own happiness the way I thought was best for me. Truth is, I can only feel peace and joy through his love and grace. He is the source of my happiness. When I spend time with God, I'm not hurting on the inside anymore.

Here's something to think about...

Do you feel in your heart or life that something is missing? Maybe you're searching for love, or security? Are you tired of being disappointed?

Maybe you can ask God again to help heal what's hurting us. Or maybe you can ask to fill in that emptiness you've been looking for and fill it with his love. And if you have never prayed before, just talk with God in your own words! Repeat after me if you'd like somewhere to start...

God, I am ready to follow you and I give my heart and life to you. Please forgive me of the mistakes I have made and allow me to start with a clean slate. You paid for our sins through the blood of Jesus Christ and I accept him as my savior. I want to continue to learn more about you as I trust you more all the days of my life. Help me to turn away from the sins I am convicted of and future sins so that I can keep my focus on you. Thank you for always loving us. Help us to also love others through your love. In Jesus' name, Amen.

What if

So i read this and I thought it was super amazing that I reposted it to share it with you all. A friend of mine posted it on facebook, so I don't call ownership of this. But what I'd like is that you read and think about each sentence.


Would it make a difference if I told you that I loved you?

Would it make a difference if I touched you on your shoulder and told you that you are mine?

Would you believe me if I whispered in your ear and told you that you're a masterpiece, that you are priceless to me...

Because i have told you many times...

Would you listen if I told you that there was none like you and that you were made unique on purpose?

What if i told you that you were created for more than you were living for...For more than you even know is possible...

Would it make a difference to you if you knew your Daddy loved you and that he would never, and has never left your side...

How would you feel if you knew i had power over today and tomorrow?

Over life and death...That those scars that you hide, that are too deep to heal will become non existent with my touch...with just a word...

What would you think or how would you feel if, even though you do not know this yet, that I will keep telling you--that i will send messangers your way, that I will never give up until you hear, see, feel and know my love for you...

What if i told you that my Love isnt the love you know, that its a love you only hoped exists, but that its not a fantasy... its me.

What if i told you that my love makes me cheer with you when you succeed. That I cry when you cry. That i will never give up on you knowing...I will call your name, I will walk beside you and heal your hurts.

You are my child, with whom I love and with whom I think is stunning and wonderful.
I will keep telling you until you can hear my voice, see my footprints beside you and feel my hand upon your shoulder each day.

What if i told you that your beautiful the way you are...and that I want to see you grow, to be happy and be whole...

What if I prove myself to you over time, hour after hour, minute by minute, that I would give up all for you, bleed for you and even die so that you could live, What would be possible?

If you knew that Ive done all of this for you, what could be different?

What could be possible if you knew when I said "I love you" that I was talking to YOU??

Say What?

Okay so I know it's been a while again since I've written but it's because I just been collecting my thoughts and growing more each day with my experiences. All through out the day and last night I've just been talking with God about how I want to follow him and help other people.

It's amazing because last night I asked that I be able to rest more and spend some time with God and what's cool was that today I ended up not having school because the power went out in my building. Which allowed me to go home early to read pray and worship! In the time that I had, I also used it to talk with others that were in my heart to talk and pray for. I think it's awesome how God uses each of us to connect with each other and encourage one another. I mean, isn't that what we should do? Love one another? hehe

Plus I have a feeling that God's gonna do something even greater soon! I don't know yet what it is but I'm going to wait and see.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

I am growing more in love with God each day! I can't stop these feelings inside that just wants to burst out and share with the whole world! ITS INEXPRESSIBLE!

So to catch you up on what I have been up to since the last time I blogged was that I started spending more time alone with God. I also started back up on finishing The Shack. It is amazing haha! It made me think more about my relationship with God and just reminded myself in praying from the heart. By the means of that is to always evaluate my heart and have God correct me sometimes when I have a realization that something is not right. An example would be the pride that I build up in my life or being impatient.

I also have been studying 1 Peter! I find that the more times I read it, I meditate and chew on what it's teaching me. Then the many times I read it, God uses it to show me somethings I didn't see before when I read it the first few times. Or sometimes I'd read a verse and take a long pause to ask God what he means by that then I eventually comprehend it. An example would be this one verse that I read...

"Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."
- 1 Peter 2:2-3

After reading this and thinking about it, I learned that we are thirsty and always wanting more to satisfy our need. Through those needs, we should seek God to fill that emptiness we normally tend to feel when we are filling our cravings with cheaper substitutes. And we could never have enough of God! There is so much to him that we can never fully understand.

And what's more cool is that me writing these blogs to you guys kinda helps me grow because just writing is my way of praising God. He reveals himself more and more to me as I spend time in sharing his love and even more that I'm writing all that I am thinking. It's like blogging to Jesus!

Oh Rain

Today was one of those days where I just want to hide under my blanket until the day is over. Oh how nothing would be accomplished if I did because life just doesn't play that way!

Someone once said that life is messy.Taking control of our situations is easier than trusting God to handle our problems. We then fall flat on our faces when were wrong and our plans is disrupted. I admit, I like to fix things myself and take pride in the end results. But when things start falling out of place, I feel like giving up under all that pressure and stress I'm holding! I am such a coward... I'd really like to trust God more! I want him to be my strength when I am weak, help me be patient, wait on him, and to love the ones that I can't stand.

These thoughts came to my head when I was sitting in class. Imagine half the class just whisper to each other or talk unknowingly loud saying negative comments about your work. Work that you spent hours trying to build up, day and/or night just trying to fix and get done because they didn't? Well that's what I had to go through today. I wanted to burst out in anger! I could of easily just lost control and slip out a few snaps here and there, but instead I decided to hold it in. As painful as it was, I'm glad it's almost over. Pressure and stress was piling on me to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore and just cried out to God. I prayed and thanked God that he helped me control my tongue but at the same time I thought that what if he feels the same way I felt when we offend God? How hurt he must feel when we say cruel and ugly things that he could hear without us realizing. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S ABOUT HIS WORK, HIS CREATION!

Wow... And yet.. He still loves us and forgives us when we ask for forgiveness. I am not worthy!

This also teaches me that maybe I should have a better heart and perspective on tomorrow that even though those people hurt me, I should be quick to forgive and love than to be quick to get angry and lash out my stress on them. If God does that for us, we should do the same to others. Especially how he reminds us in scripture to love one another, especially our enemies. Hmmm..

Chew On This

As the Scriptures say,
“People are like grass; their beauty is like a flower in the field.
The grass withers and the flower fades.



"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone."





“Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when it is bad, your body is filled with darkness.

Super Sweet Sundays

Today I was reminded about how Jesus took a day to rest, which he called the "Sabbath Day".I thought about that and looked into the Bible to see what that really meant. So here's what I got..

“Keep the Sabbath day holy. Don’t pursue your own interests on that day,but enjoy the Sabbath and speak of it with delight as the Lord’s holy day.Honor the Sabbath in everything you do on that day,and don’t follow your own desires or talk idly."
- Isaiah 58:13



“You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of complete rest, an official day for holy assembly. It is the Lord’s Sabbath day, and it must be observed wherever you live." - Leviticus 23:3


Since today is my of complete rest, I wanted to use it to spend some time alone with God. And share with you a few songs that were stuck in my head because I have just been worshiping God since I woke up this morning.


So Father God, I want to thank you for loving me with all that I am and saving me from my sins. I pray that I will continue to grow spiritually through the works of your holy spirit in me and that I will also be wiser with decisions I make through out the days of this week. Thank you for also putting people in my life that can help me through out life and can invest in me, like my leaders and the pastors of Newlife. Please bless them and their families God. Today I want to give you all my attention and in anything I do today, let it be for your glory and honor. I love you Jesus! In your name, Amen.

All Around Me

Waking up this morning felt different. I felt sad that I was no longer focused on my relationship with Alex; Yet the other half of me was excited to praise and spend time with God through out my day. Although it was challenging to go back to my old ways, I kept my mind focused on my conversation with God. Talking with him really helped!

In school I had some down time and started reading when God grabbed a hold of my heart. Putting the book down and running to the bathroom I sat in the stall today just confessing how I always put everything before him. And how if it weren't for Him, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I would be nothing with out God. And that I truly love him and wanna live a life following him wherever I go. Through God's grace, he forgave me and put peace in my heart that I couldn't help but start bursting into more tears! (I guess it was tears of happiness and a little bit of relief that I don't have to be carrying this weight on my shoulders anymore that I don't have to live up to all these expectations of the world)

So about a few minutes ago I finally finished Francis Chan's. Crazy Love. Chan ended it by closing up the book and said to kneel before God and pray for a life following God. I obeyed and fell to the ground just praising God for all that he has done! Opening my eyes to how I'm living my life, teaching me all about what it means to love him and love each other, storing up treasures in heaven, and many more! (The list could go on!!!)

...&At that moment of prayer I burst out laughing! I knew God was just pleased with me following him in the right track and that he's ready to do a lot of great things through me. In that moment of just laughing, I also felt this kinda happy feeling in my heart that I couldn't explain. If I could, I would run outside and just shout out to the whole world how great God (the God of Abraham, Isaac and Moses) truly is! How sad that many of us miss out or are too distracted with this feeling that God wants to show us. We only get a glimpse of it after Sunday service or a retreat. But to think that we could live a life where we could feel that kind of joy everyday?! even when things are hard and going through trials in our life? Man... I been lukewarm way too long and I'm not about to let this love for God go again.

Think about it... when was the last time you spent some time alone with God and felt that love? Lets share it with the rest of the world!!!

THREE Gs

The "Three G's". I call it: Giving, Growth, and God.


Before youth group began, I spent some alone time with God while the leaders were out and gave me the whole room to myself. In that time of talking with him and reading out of the books I'm currently reading (Bible and Crazy Love), I realized that I need to stop saying I'm gonna give him my all and just do it. I've already seen a few changes in me happen as I'm growing in GOD. But I want to give more of me to Him than I ever have! That is how I came up with the "three G's."

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. - Matthew 16:24

During these past couple of weeks, I have learned even more than one could learn their whole lifetime! Jesus said that if we want to be his follower, leave all we have of our old life behind us and just follow him. This verse keeps popping up in my head and just everywhere I turn! IN FACT, today I realized I'm ready to take rocks out of my life to spend some time alone with God and making him the first priority in my life. Loving him means that I'm gonna do what I have to do to give all my heart to him. Which is why it was really hard for me to end my relationship with my long term boyfriend, Alex. He taught me a lot in the relationship I had with him, but right now God has something else in mind for each of us individually.

As hard as it will be, I'm anxiously excited to see what God is gonna have next for me to do. I'm not anxious in a way that I'm worried, I'm more of just really excited that God is gonna do great things in my life. And because I'm giving my all to God, I'll be storing up my treasures in heaven and not here on earth.



God, thank you for always loving me even when I don't deserve it. You are always so patient with me and are there with open arms. I'm ready to do the work of your will for me and do it with pure love and joy through your holy spirit in me. As tears are flowing down right now, I have this big smile on my face because I know that I'm gonna get to spend eternity with you and that you are gonna do great things in this community. I pray that you will use me and the gifts you have blessed me with you serve others and to love the ones I may have trouble loving some time in my life. I also pray that whoever is reading this and praying along with me will open up their hearts to you and recommit or give their all to you too. Please bless them and continuously work on all of our hearts. You are wonderful, father. I am pleased to have a life that is rooted in you. In your holy name I pray, Amen.

A Calling From GOD

One thing God put in my heart to do was reach out to others in my school and community. I wasn't sure yet how I was gonna do it, but I knew that I wanted to follow what God has planned out for me. Out of all the possibilities I came up with as I was talking to God was to start a small group. I use to think being one of the leaders in the youth ministry of our church was gonna help me do what God wants for me, but I was wrong...

Through prayer, scriptures and God's love, my heart started changing. Realizing then that before I could start and do anything else, my relationship with God had to grow. Spending time with God grew my heart. By that, I mean...FALLING IN LOVE WITH JESUS! If you think about it, we can't have a loving relationship if our hearts aren't really loving God. We may say we are, but is our actions showing it?
These past few weeks I read Romans 12. It talks about spiritual gifts in this chapter and how we should use it for the glory of God. Thinking about my gifts, I found that one of them is in . In my heart I know that, "I GOT NEXT!" as my pastor would say.

SO FINALLY, something popped in my head where I felt now is the right time where God wants to do something great with me being a part of it! Last minute, I called up a few people to see if they would like to form a small group that meets at my home every week. Tonight was our first night of meeting and IT ROCKED!

We were able to break the ice, discuss the significance of group and really share what God is doing in our lives and any questions we may have about living as a follower of Christ. We also looked into scripture of what the Bible had to say about being a Christian. What was even really touching was that there was a guy that came to group who was attending this group for the first time ever and had not even opened up the Bible to read! He attended church weekly but it amazed me that there are still many people in our church that crave God but still need help seeking him.

My point of this tonight is to encourage you that if God puts something in your heart to do, don't hesitate to do it! He offers so much for us and is ready to give us his blessings, but its our choice to follow and live up to it. There is nothing too impossible or great for you to do that he will give you. Or I guess in other words, he won't give you anything that he thinks you couldn't handle. Besides, using your talents and gifts for God is such a blessing because you feel that real love that comes from God. And by giving with the right heart, God will also use us to bless others. So the love we feel spreads greatly! Imagine if we had a whole community who felt that love?

So I leave you with this verse...

It's from 1 Peter 4:7-11

⁷ The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. ⁸ Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. ⁹ Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay.

¹⁰ God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. ¹¹ Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.

Update!

Hey blogspot! I know it's been a while since I last wrote a blog on here. I've started writing in my own journal on hand because it's easier to take around with me than having to blog online. Here's an update on where life has taken me and how I have responded these past couple of months to the changes God has made in my life.



Last summer, when I started this blog, I was on fire for God. I still am, but a point came in my life where I stopped growing. I let the worries of this world cloud up my mind where my focus got off track with where God wanted me to be and what I was doing. For instance, there was a break I had to take from a small group that I was leading in our youth ministry to grow further in my relationship with God. Rather than letting him grow my heart, I couldn't understand why God was changing things up in my life. But eventually I grew apart from my relationship with God and start filling my plate up with more responsibilities for me to put priority over my time with Him. I mean, who am I to tell Him, "Sorry God, I'm kinda busy with my life right now to spend time with you." God doesn't put me last on his list and love me any less, so why should I call myself a follower when I'm not centering my life on God?

After realizing I wanted a heart change and a clean slate, I decided to go back to church and do what I could to seek God. I've learned so much more than I did last summer when I was growing. An example could be the time I attended winter camp for youth. I was a bit nervous about going and felt out of place since I haven't been going to youth. Being there changed my heart even more and my thoughts on my life because I realized that I became a lukewarm Christian! My spark for God was fading but I didn't want it to end so I broke down and poured out my heart just asking God to do everything and anything to help make me more passionate in my relationship with him. From one of the sermons preached that night at camp I also learned that God is jealous for me. He is jealous for me because he loves me! Just like a man would be jealous for his wife if she were to ever think of another man who is not her husband. Thinking about that made me realize how do you fall in love with Jesus?

Trying to get back on track, I started talking with God and confessing all that I have done and just the things that were wrong in my heart and in my life. There a couple things that I've also started to help get more of God. I tried doing the Bible in 90 days reading plan. But felt frustrated when that wasn't working out for me. So now I'm reading this book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Who is also an incredible man, by the way. Crazy Love helped me remember a lot of what the Bible has taught me. One of the things it helped me remember is that our life here on earth is short.

A couple of times I came across the thought of how valuable our work here on earth is and how careful we should live our life. Ok, Ok, I admit...I'm the type of person who usually has my head in the clouds looking too far in my future of what I want to do in my life. I stress over the decisions I'm gonna be making for my life after high school. But that's all changed! I feel like by trusting God and putting my faith in him to handle, I will always succeed because I'm doing what he wants for me. So I've stopped worrying and focused more on finding what it is he is calling me to do, and how much more I can use the gifts God has given me to share with others who still don't know much about Jesus.

So... I guess to summarize altogether what I wanted to actually point out in this blog was that before I can start doing anything for God, I have to evaluate my heart and my relationship with God in order to grow. If I want to consider myself a true follower of Christ, I want to live my life the way he wants me to and help lead others to live a life that pleases our Father in Heaven.

Here are a few of my favorite verses that have helped me :)

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. " - James 4:14

"Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it." - James 4:17

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. - Jeremiah 29:11-13


You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you. - Exodus 34:14

If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.
- Luke 17:33